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Love is in the air! Pilot proposes to flight attendant girlfriend before take off

A pilot has proposed to his flight attendant girlfriend just minutes before take off in a heart-warming display of love. Polish pilot Konrad Hanc was captured emerging from the cockpit before embarking on a flight to Kraków to make a surprising announcement over the PA system. Hanc introduced himself to the passengers before explaining the real reason for his message. “On today’s flight there is a very special person," he began. “Ladies and gentlemen, about one and a half years ago in this job I met the most wonderful person that completely changed my life." “You are most precious to me. You are my greatest dream come true. This is why I have to ask you a favour, honey." <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C6EHHyQskLc/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by LOT Polish Airlines (@flylot)</a> </div> </blockquote> “Will you marry me?” he asked while getting down on one knee, as another flight attendant handed him a bouquet of flowers. His girlfriend, Paula, sprinted up the aisle of the plane before leaping into the arms of her future husband. Passengers watched on in anticipation for her answer with one yelling, “Did she say yes?” to which the beaming captain responded: “She said yes!” Hanc explained that he chose to pop the question on the flight to the Polish city as he met Paula on the same flight just 18 months ago. As the pair embraced in a hug and kiss, passengers erupted in applause, with many taking to the now viral Facebook post to send them well wishes. “I love this! Sweet couple!” one person wrote. ”TOTALLYYYYY LOVE IN THE AIR,” another enthusiastic person commented, to which the airline responded: “YES, love IS in the air!” Image credits: LOT Polish Airlines

Relationships

“Love is so sweet": Man's sweet mid-air proposal goes viral

Love is in the air! A smitten passenger took his love to the skies and proposed to his girlfriend while on board an Air Peace flight, with the romantic moment captured on camera. A social media user took to TikTok to share the sweet proposal, with the caption: “POV: My friend was proposed to in a plane.” The minute-long video showed a man getting out of his seat on board the packed plane to use the aircraft’s PA system so that he could ask for his girlfriend’s hand in marriage. “She’s so precious and her name is Precious,” the man said before popping the question. “Please, my Precious, I want to ask, will you marry me?” “If you will, just come out and say ‘yes’ to me, my precious,” he added before walking down the aisle of the aircraft. Other passengers cheered for the couple, and in a second video, the man is seen greeting Precious, then getting down on one knee to offer her the ring. Precious was overjoyed at the proposal and said yes, hugging her new fiance. While it is unclear where the plane was travelling, Air Peace is a Nigerian carrier that operates flights to destinations in West Africa and the Middle East, according to the NY Post. TikTok users were also touched by the romantic act, with many of them congratulating the couple. “This is beautiful,” one wrote. “Love is so sweet for real,” another swooned. Images: TikTok

Relationships

Judge finds Bruce Lehrmann raped Brittany Higgins and dismisses Network 10 defamation case. How did it play out?

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-clift-715691">Brendan Clift</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Bruce Lehrmann has lost his defamation suit against Channel Ten and journalist Lisa Wilkinson after the media defendants proved, on the balance of probabilities, that Lehrmann raped his colleague Brittany Higgins in Parliament House in 2019. After a trial lasting around a month, Federal Court Justice Michael Lee – an experienced defamation judge – concluded that both Lehrmann and Higgins had credibility issues, but ultimately <a href="https://www.judgments.fedcourt.gov.au/judgments/Judgments/fca/single/2024/2024fca0369">he was persuaded</a> that Lehrmann raped Higgins, as she’d alleged and he’d denied. <h2>Criminal trials by proxy</h2> Ordinarily, charges like rape would be resolved through the criminal courts, but Lehrmann’s criminal trial was <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2022-10-27/jury-discharged-in-trial-of-bruce-lehrmann-brittany-higgins/101583486">aborted</a> in October 2022 after juror misconduct. The charges against him were soon <a href="https://www.news.com.au/national/nsw-act/courts-law/bruce-lehrmann-sexual-assault-charge-dropped-dpp-confirms/news-story/3f82dd388d2cfa38680f7d4f4ceb1c5e">dropped</a>, nominally over concerns for Higgins’ mental health. Higgins, however, foresaw civil proceedings and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/dec/05/brittany-higgins-volunteered-to-be-defamation-trial-witness-as-she-would-not-let-rapist-become-a-millionaire-ntwnfb">offered to testify</a> should they arise. That they did, as Lehrmann, free from the burden of any proven crime, sued several media outlets for defamation over their reporting into the allegations (<a href="https://www.fedcourt.gov.au/services/access-to-files-and-transcripts/online-files/lehrmann">the ABC</a> and <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/dec/06/abc-agrees-to-pay-bruce-lehrmann-150000-to-settle-defamation-claim-court-documents-reveal">News Corp</a> both settled out of court). <iframe class="flourish-embed-iframe" style="width: 100%; height: 550px;" title="Interactive or visual content" src="https://flo.uri.sh/visualisation/17195035/embed" width="100%" height="400" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" sandbox="allow-same-origin allow-forms allow-scripts allow-downloads allow-popups allow-popups-to-escape-sandbox allow-top-navigation-by-user-activation"></iframe> <div style="width: 100%!; margin-top: 4px!important; text-align: right!important;"><a class="flourish-credit" href="https://public.flourish.studio/visualisation/17195035/?utm_source=embed&utm_campaign=visualisation/17195035" target="_top"><img src="https://public.flourish.studio/resources/made_with_flourish.svg" alt="Made with Flourish" /></a></div> Like Ben Roberts-Smith’s <a href="https://theconversation.com/dismissed-legal-experts-explain-the-judgment-in-the-ben-roberts-smith-defamation-case-191503">recent defamation suit</a> against the former Fairfax papers, this became another case of civil proceedings testing grave allegations in the absence of a criminal law outcome. The form of proceedings made for some key differences with the aborted criminal trial. In criminal cases, prosecutors are ethically bound to act with moderation in pursuing a conviction, which requires proof beyond a reasonable doubt, while defendants have the right to silence. By contrast, this trial featured detailed accounts from both sides as each sought to convince, in essence, that their contentions were likely to be correct. Also like the Roberts-Smith case, live streaming of the trial generated very high levels of public engagement. Today’s stream reached audiences of more than 45,000 people. It gave us the chance to assess who and what we believe, and to scrutinise the parties’ claims and the media’s reporting. The Federal Court doesn’t have juries, but we, the public, acted as a de facto panel of peers. We saw accusations and denials, revealing <a href="https://www.abc.net.au/news/2023-12-23/bruce-lehrmann-defamation-trial-network-ten-lisa-wilkinson-ends/103260752">cross-examination</a> of the protagonists, witness testimony from colleagues, CCTV footage from nightclubs to Parliament House complete with lip-reading, expert testimony on alcohol consumption and consent, and lawyers constructing timelines which supported or poked holes in competing versions of events. The complexity of high-stakes legal proceedings was on display, with Justice Lee issuing many interim decisions on questions of procedure and evidence. Whenever transparency was at stake, it won. The preference for full disclosure led to the <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/law/2024/apr/02/bruce-lehrmann-defamation-trial-network-10-fresh-evidence-bid-lisa-wilkinson-brittany-higgins-delay-ntwnfb">case being re-opened</a> at the eleventh hour to call former Channel 7 producer Taylor Auerbach as a witness, providing a denouement that the judge called “sordid”, but which had little relevance to the final result. <h2>An argument over the truth</h2> Lehrmann had the burden of proving that the defendants published matter harmful to his reputation. That matter was Wilkinson’s interview with Higgins on Channel Ten’s The Project in which the allegations were made. A statement is only defamatory if it’s untrue, but in Australian law, the publisher bears the burden of proving truth, should they opt for that defence. And more serious allegations usually require more compelling proof, as the law views them as inherently more unlikely. This can be onerous for a defamation defendant, but it also involves risk for the plaintiff, should the defendant embark on an odyssey of truth-telling yet more damaging to the plaintiff’s image. That happened to <a href="https://www.bbc.com/news/world-australia-65717684">Ben Roberts-Smith</a> and it happened to Lehrmann here. On the other hand, if the media hasn’t done their homework, as in <a href="https://www.judgments.fedcourt.gov.au/judgments/Judgments/fca/single/2023/2023fca1223">Heston Russell’s case</a> against the ABC (also presided over by Justice Lee), the complainant can be vindicated. This case was a manifestation of Lehrmann’s professed desire to “<a href="https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2023/oct/26/how-bruce-lehrmanns-media-interviews-cost-him-his-anonymity-in-toowoomba-case">light some fires</a>”. Few players in this extended saga have emerged without scars, and here he burned his own fingers, badly. As Justice Lee put it, Lehrmann, “having escaped the lion’s den [of criminal prosecution], made the mistake of coming back to get his hat”. <h2>How was the case decided?</h2> Lehrmann denied having sex with Higgins, whereas Higgins alleged there had been non-consensual sex. The defamatory nature of the publication centred on the claim of rape, so that was what the media defendants sought to prove. This left open the curious possibility that consensual sex might have taken place: if so, Lehrmann would have brought his case on a false premise (there had been no sex), but the media would have failed to defend it (by not proving a lack of consent), resulting in a Lehrmann win. That awkward scenario did not arise. The court found sex did in fact take place, Higgins in her heavily-inebriated and barely-conscious state did not give consent, and Lehrmann was so intent on his gratification that he ignored the requirement of consent. Justice Lee found Lehrmann to be a persistent, self-interested liar, whereas Higgin’s credibility issues were of lesser degree, some symptomatic of a person piecing together a part-remembered trauma. The judge drew strongly on the evidence of certain neutral parties who could testify to incidents or words spoken in close proximity to the events. <h2>Defamation laws favour the aggrieved</h2> Australian defamation law has historically favoured plaintiffs and, despite recent <a href="https://www.ruleoflaw.org.au/civil/defamation/2021-law-reform/">rebalancing attempts</a>, it remains a favoured legal weapon for those with the resources to use it. This includes our political class, who sue their critics for defamation with unhealthy frequency for a democracy. In the United States, public figures don’t have it so easy: to win they must prove their critics were lying. In Australia, the media sometimes succeeds in proving truth, but contesting defamation proceedings comes at great financial cost and takes an emotional toll on the journalists involved. Nor can a true claim always be proven to a court’s satisfaction, given the rules of evidence and the fact that sources may be reluctant to testify or protected by a reporter’s guarantee of confidentiality. But this case demonstrates that publishers with an appetite for the legal fight can come out on top.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/225891/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/brendan-clift-715691">Brendan Clift</a>, Lecturer of law, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-melbourne-722">The University of Melbourne</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/judge-finds-bruce-lehrmann-raped-brittany-higgins-and-dismisses-network-10-defamation-case-how-did-it-play-out-225891">original article</a>.

Legal

‘To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve and a reward’: why Australians love going to the cinema

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> Australians have had plenty of time in the last 100 years to work out what they value about cinema-going and why it matters. Head to any cinema and catch the Val Morgan advertising in the pre-show. Take a closer look at the date the company was founded. Not 1984, <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Val_Morgan">but 1894</a>. That’s more than 125 years of “Making Messages Memorable” on Australian screens. We have a deep and abiding love for cinema in this country. Over the last century, the experience of going to the movies has both shifted significantly (<a href="https://villageroadshow.com.au/-/media/VRL-Corporate-Media-Library/Documents/Press-Releases/2017/5-December-Gold-Class-Celebrates-20-Years.pdf">we invented Gold Class, you know</a>) and somehow remained resolutely enduring in terms of appeal. My colleague Tess Van Hemert and I have spent the last two years <a href="https://research.qut.edu.au/dmrc/projects/resilient-screens-investigating-the-value-of-australian-cinema-exhibition/">researching</a> the cultures and practices of cinema-going and how cinema sites shape that experience. A typical response in our research was: "I love the cinema experience. It’s a bonding experience, if it’s good it’s an emotional and cathartic experience." <h2>‘A reprieve and a reward’</h2> Cinemas <a href="https://www.bfi.org.uk/industry-data-insights/reports/measuring-economic-value-cinema-venues">are a catalyst</a> for social, cultural and economic activity wherever they operate, from single-screen regional sites to major multiplexes in suburban shopping malls. Cinema, our participants said, is the “ideal” way to watch a movie: "I like to sit as close as I can to the screen so that the ‘real’ world is completely blocked out. I am immersed in & in awe of the film only. To truly forget life for a while – a reprieve & a reward." Cinemas also mirror communities back to themselves. We may go in alone, as a couple or with family and friends, but in the cinema we form a community. When reflecting on returning to the cinema between COVID lockdowns, one person spoke of seeing American Utopia "There were only about 10 people in the cinema. We didn’t know each other but we all started spontaneously dancing, first in our seats, and then everyone ran down to the floor in front of the screen to dance together. It was like a mini music festival when live music was banned." Despite the cost, despite the hassle, despite the need to leave the couch, Australians turn up time and time again to cinemas. In 2023, the Australian box office generated nearly <a href="https://if.com.au/australian-box-office-neared-1b-in-2023/">A$1 billion</a> (although this is down on <a href="https://variety.com/2020/film/asia/australia-annual-box-office-drops-1203476275/">pre-COVID figures</a>). Four of the top ten highest grossing films of all time in Australia have been released <a href="https://www.valmorgan.com.au/2022-at-the-movies">since the pandemic began</a>. Australian census data tells us cinema-going remains Australia’s <a href="https://www.abs.gov.au/statistics/people/people-and-communities#:%7E:text=44%25%20of%20people%20attended%20the,popular%20cultural%20venue%20or%20event">most popular</a> cultural activity. <h2>‘Being able to switch off’</h2> When cinemas face closure – or shut temporarily, as they did during the pandemic – the outpouring of community support can galvanise a community and remind them of all the times and ways in which they valued that access to that experience. One participant spoke of seeing their first film in the cinema after the pandemic: "It made me appreciate the whole cinema experience more. Getting out and being able to switch off was a welcome change." In our research, we observed how cinemas began to <a href="https://www.palacecinemas.com.au/blog/the-cinema-why-we-love-it/">articulate</a> their value to community through the pandemic period of forced closures. In the <a href="https://eprints.qut.edu.au/243758/">large-scale national audience research</a> we conducted in partnership with Palace Cinemas the value audiences derive from cinema-going was as diverse as the programming. They remembered specific films, such as watching the opening credits of Force Awakens with a crowd of avid fans, or feeling like they were “experiencing summer in Italy” while watching Call Me By Your Name. They focused on memories of the people they were with, such as feeling “all grown up” while seeing arthouse films with their dad when they were a kid. <h2>‘Float in the memory’</h2> They spoke about the feelings they had before during and after the screening and the experience overall. One respondent wrote of loving the end of a film: "the quiet few minutes as the credits roll and you float in the memory of the film. This only happens for me when I see it in the cinema." Another participant spoke about leaving the cinema and: "doing a walk around the block thinking about the movie, still thinking about the movie driving home." One participant said they love “being able to have respectful (unbothered) alone time publicly”. Clear in this data is that memorability – and the experience of cinema – is far more nuanced than the simple appeal of watching a big film in a big room on a big screen. Cinemas continue to serve Australian communities in far more complex way than simply movies and popcorn. Cinema has always battled headwinds. Since radio, cinema has constantly faced in-home entertainment technology that was supposed to knock it over completely – TV, colour TV, cable, satellite, VHS, DVDs and now streaming. Each time, the desire for people to come together in a space and watch something unique in a way they can’t find anywhere else, with a level of engagement they can’t find anywhere else, has prevailed. We all have a kitchen at home, but we still love going out to restaurants. Disney, Warner Bros and Australia’s own Birch Carrol and Coyle all celebrated 100 years of operation in 2023. To sustain another century, more research is needed to better understand how cinema-going must continue to evolve to meet shifting audience expectations.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/222597/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ruari-elkington-105955">Ruari Elkington</a>, Senior Lecturer in Creative Industries & Chief Investigator at QUT Digital Media Research Centre (DMRC), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queensland-university-of-technology-847">Queensland University of Technology</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/to-truly-forget-life-for-a-while-a-reprieve-and-a-reward-why-australians-love-going-to-the-cinema-222597">original article</a>.

Movies

"Find that car": Mother of fallen young lawyer speaks out

Mitch East, a vibrant 28-year-old lawyer from New Zealand, lost his life on Sunday in an alleged hit-and-run accident that has sparked a desperate plea from his grieving mother and a heartfelt outcry from those who knew him. Debra East, now in Sydney to grapple with the unimaginable loss of her only child, stood on the roadside where Mitch's life was abruptly taken away. In an emotional <a href="https://7news.com.au/news/find-that-car-mother-of-lawyer-mitch-east-killed-in-sydney-hit-and-run-shares-desperate-plea-as-tributes-flow-c-14013341" target="_blank" rel="noopener">interview with 7NEWS</a>, she expressed her shattered state, saying, "I'm broken. He was my only child... I died too, on Sunday, with him." The pain of a mother losing her child in such a sudden and senseless manner is unfathomable, and her plea to find the perpetrator echoes through the community. Mitch's untimely demise occurred as he stepped out of an Uber onto Fletcher St, just metres away from his home, in the early hours of the morning. It is believed that he was <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">struck by a car</a>, leaving him with critical injuries that tragically proved fatal. Despite the efforts of emergency responders, Mitch passed away at the scene. The circumstances surrounding Mitch's death point to a hit-and-run incident, with CCTV footage capturing <a href="https://www.oversixty.com.au/finance/legal/police-investigate-after-young-lawyer-killed-in-cowardly-act" target="_blank" rel="noopener">a white Subaru</a> driving on the street shortly after the accident. Debra East, grappling with grief and disbelief, voiced her anguish, questioning how the driver could have failed to see her son and pleading for assistance in locating the vehicle. “I got up early hours of the morning today and stood on the side of the road to try to understand how they couldn’t have seen him as they were driving up," she said. “I just need you to help the police find that car. Not that it will bring him back to me.” NSW Police Inspector Josh Hogan condemned the act as cowardly, urging the driver to come forward and take responsibility for their actions. Anyone with information about the death is urged to contact Crime Stoppers on 1800 333 000. Images: GoFundMe | NSW Police

Family & Pets

Love-struck elephant goes wild on safari

In the annals of adventure, there are tales of bravery and resilience – and then there are tales of two guys just trying to find a quiet spot for a bathroom break in South Africa. Meet Henry Blom and Taylor Fulmer, the unlikely protagonists of a safari gone haywire. Innocently disembarking from their tour truck for a brief moment of relief in the bush, the pair suddenly found themselves smack dab in the middle of a romantic rampage by none other than a love-stricken bull elephant. As screams echoed through the savannah, Henry and Taylor found themselves in a bizarre game of hide and seek with a pachyderm-sized opponent. "We got off the truck with a bunch of other people to use the bathrooms and then we started hearing screaming," Henry <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/today/elephant-safari-attack-witnesses-describe-terrifying-moment-wild-animal-charged/451c9dd1-3d90-4112-868c-99e3a8f17019" target="_blank" rel="noopener">recounted on the Today show</a>, probably wishing they had all decided to hold it in a little longer. But it wasn't just any elephant causing the ruckus. No, this was one amorous elephant on a mission – sweating, urinating and emitting more bodily fluids than a broken faucet. As the wild beast charged, Henry and Taylor feared for their lives, imagining scenarios straight out of an action movie where they'd be the unlucky extras squashed beneath a mammoth-sized villain. Yet, amid the chaos, there emerged a hero: the tour guide. While the elephant treated the truck like a chew toy, the guide maintained a Zen-like calm, steering the vehicle with the finesse of a seasoned race car driver dodging obstacles. "We saw the elephant charge and my fear was that it was going to go through the window," Taylor recounted, possibly wondering if he should've packed a spare pair of pants for the trip. As the dust settled and the elephant's romantic pursuit waned, Henry and Taylor breathed a sigh of relief. But their ordeal wasn't over just yet. The guide's sage advice? "Stay quiet and get ready to run." Words of wisdom to live by, especially when you're in the crosshairs of a loved-up elephant. Reflecting on their brush with danger, Henry and Taylor couldn't help but marvel at the surreal experience. "He was so close we could smell him, it was crazy," Henry mused, perhaps understating the olfactory assault they endured. So, the next time you're contemplating a safari adventure, remember Henry and Taylor's tale of bathroom breaks gone wild. Because when nature calls in the wild, you might just find yourself in the midst of an elephant love story – and trust us, it's not as romantic as it sounds. Images: The Today Show

Travel Trouble

MH370 disappearance 10 years on: can we still find it

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charitha-pattiaratchi-110101">Charitha Pattiaratchi</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-western-australia-1067">The University of Western Australia</a> It has been ten years since Malaysia Airlines passenger flight MH370 <a href="https://theconversation.com/lessons-to-learn-despite-another-report-on-missing-flight-mh370-and-still-no-explanation-100764">disappeared on March 8 2014</a>. To this day it remains one of the biggest aviation mysteries globally. It’s unthinkable that a modern Boeing 777-200ER jetliner with 239 people on board can simply vanish without any explanation. Yet multiple searches in the past decade have still not yielded the main wreckage or the bodies of the victims. At a remembrance event held earlier this week, the Malaysian transport minister announced <a href="https://www.reuters.com/world/asia-pacific/malaysia-says-mh370-search-must-go-10-years-after-plane-vanished-2024-03-03/">a renewed push for another search</a>. If approved by the Malaysian government, the survey will be conducted by United States seabed exploration firm Ocean Infinity, whose efforts were unsuccessful in 2018. <h2>What happened to MH370?</h2> The flight was scheduled to fly from Kuala Lumpur to Beijing. Air traffic control lost contact with the aircraft within 60 minutes into the flight over the South China Sea. Subsequently, it was tracked by military radar crossing the Malay Peninsula and was last located by radar over the Andaman Sea in the northeastern Indian Ocean. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=375&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579774/original/file-20240305-18-vdbysn.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=471&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="A map of the region showing the initial search areas on 8-16 March." /></a><figcaption>The planned route, final route and initial search area for MH370 in Southeast Asia. <a class="source" href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_Malaysia_Airlines_Flight_370#/media/File:MH370_initial_search_Southeast_Asia.svg">Andrew Heenen/Wikimedia Commons</a>, <a class="license" href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/4.0/">CC BY</a></figcaption></figure> Later, automated satellite communications between the aircraft and British firm’s Inmarsat telecommunications satellite indicated that the plane ended up in the southeast Indian Ocean <a href="https://hub.arcgis.com/datasets/4c94d33cfc144f7d8b78943dee56e29b/explore">along the 7th arc</a> (an arc is a series of coordinates). This became the basis for defining the initial search areas by the Australian Air Transport Safety Bureau. Initial air searches were conducted in the South China Sea and the Andaman Sea. To date, we still don’t know what caused the aircraft’s change of course and disappearance. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=338&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579749/original/file-20240305-25-p456o1.png?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=424&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="" /></a><figcaption>Location of the 7th arc and the origin of debris locations for simulations undertaken by the University of Western Australia. Google Earth/Author provided</figcaption></figure> <h2>What have searches for MH370 found so far?</h2> On March 18 2014, ten days after the disappearance of MH370, a search in the southern Indian Ocean <a href="https://www.atsb.gov.au/publications/2014/considerations-on-defining-the-search-area-mh370">was led by Australia</a>, with participation of aircraft from several countries. This search continued until April 28 and covered an area of 4,500,000 square kilometres of ocean. No debris was found. Two underwater searches of the Indian Ocean, 2,800km off the coast of Western Australia, have also failed to find any evidence of the main crash site. The initial seabed search, led by Australia, covered 120,000 square kilometres and extended 50 nautical miles across the 7th arc. It took 1,046 days and was suspended on January 17 2017. A second search by Ocean Infinity in 2018 <a href="https://oceaninfinity.com/conclusion-of-current-search-for-malaysian-airlines-flight-mh370/">covered over 112,000 square kilometres</a>. It was completed in just over three months but also didn’t locate the wreckage. <h2>What about debris?</h2> While the main crash site still hasn’t been found, several pieces of debris have washed up in the years since the flight’s disappearance. In fact, in June 2015 officials from the Australian Air Transport Safety Bureau determined that debris might arrive in Sumatra, contrary to the ocean currents in the region. The strongest current in the Indian Ocean is the South Equatorial Current. It flows east to west between northern Australia and Madagascar, and debris would be able to cross it. Indeed, on July 30 2015 a large piece of debris – a <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flaperon">flaperon</a> (moving part of a plane wing) – washed up on Reunion Island in the western Indian Ocean. It was later confirmed to belong to MH370. Twelve months earlier, using an oceanographic drift model, our University of Western Australia (UWA) modelling team had predicted that any debris originating from the 7th arc would end up in the western Indian Ocean. In subsequent months, additional aircraft debris was found in the western Indian Ocean in Mauritius, Tanzania, Rodrigues, Madagascar, Mozambique and South Africa. The UWA drift analysis accurately predicted where floating debris from MH370 would beach in the western Indian Ocean. It also guided American adventurer Blaine Gibson and others to directly recover several dozen pieces of debris, three of which <a href="https://www.newsweek.com/where-blaine-gibson-now-malaysia-airlines-mh370-debris-hunter-1787369">have been confirmed</a> to be from MH370, while several others <a href="https://www.airlineratings.com/news/mh370-debris-now-for-the-facts/">are deemed likely</a>. <figure class="align-center zoomable"><a href="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=1000&fit=clip"><img src="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&fit=clip" sizes="(min-width: 1466px) 754px, (max-width: 599px) 100vw, (min-width: 600px) 600px, 237px" srcset="https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=1 600w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=2 1200w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=600&h=602&fit=crop&dpr=3 1800w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=45&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=1 754w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=30&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=2 1508w, https://images.theconversation.com/files/579756/original/file-20240305-22-q62h9n.jpeg?ixlib=rb-1.1.0&q=15&auto=format&w=754&h=757&fit=crop&dpr=3 2262w" alt="A detailed satellite map showing locations of debris found on the shores of Africa and Madagascar." /></a><figcaption>Predicted locations of landfall from results of University of Western Australia drift modelling. The white dots indicate predicted landfall of the debris. The aggregation of many dots, particularly close to land, is an indication of the density of particles – higher probability of debris making landfall. These are highlighted by red circles. Charitha Pattiaratchi/UWA, Author provided</figcaption></figure> To date, these debris finds in the western Indian ocean are the only physical evidence found related to MH370. It is also independent verification that the crash occurred close to the 7th arc, as any debris would initially flow northwards and then to the west, transported by the prevailing ocean currents. These results are consistent with other drift studies undertaken by independent researchers globally. <h2>Why a new search for MH370 now?</h2> Unfortunately, the ocean is a chaotic place, and even oceanographic drift models cannot pinpoint the exact location of the crash site. The proposed new search by Ocean Infinity has significantly narrowed down the target area within latitudes 36°S and 33°S. This is approximately 50km to the south of the locations where UWA modelling indicated the release of debris along the 7th arc. If the search does not locate the wreckage, it could be extended north. Since the initial underwater searches, technology has tremendously improved. Ocean Infinity is using a fleet of autonomous underwater vehicles with improved resolution. The proposed search will also use remotely controlled surface vessels. In the area where the search is to take place, the ocean is around 4,000 metres deep. The water temperatures are 1–2°C, with low currents. This means that even after ten years, the debris field would be relatively intact. Therefore, there is a high probability that the wreckage can still be found. If a future search is successful, this would bring closure not just to the families of those who perished, but also the thousands of people who have been involved in the search efforts.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/224954/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/charitha-pattiaratchi-110101">Charitha Pattiaratchi</a>, Professor of Coastal Oceanography, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/the-university-of-western-australia-1067">The University of Western Australia</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/mh370-disappearance-10-years-on-can-we-still-find-it-224954">original article</a>.

Travel Trouble

Not all mourning happens after bereavement – for some, grief can start years before the death of a loved one

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> For many people, grief starts not at the point of death, but from the moment a loved one is diagnosed with a life-limiting illness. Whether it’s the diagnosis of an advanced cancer or a non-malignant condition such as dementia, heart failure or Parkinson’s disease, the psychological and emotional process of grief can begin many months or even years before the person dies. This experience of mourning a future loss is known as <a href="https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-69892-2_1006-1">anticipatory grief</a>. While not experienced by everyone, anticipatory grief is a <a href="https://spcare.bmj.com/content/bmjspcare/early/2022/02/10/bmjspcare-2021-003338.full.pdf?casa_token=IWNMDFN5SoIAAAAA:2EybwyPcKu73VdrACTNk7jITor-mMIXK8rv76arXgdjV9cA2Y0MV0LyZLLwcYe1rZUAQymOzFYo">common</a> part of the grieving process and can include a range of conflicting, often difficult thoughts and emotions. For example, as well as feelings of loss, some people can experience guilt from wanting their loved one to be free of pain, or imagining what life will be like after they die. <h2>Difficult to define, distressing to experience</h2> Anticipatory grief has proved <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">challenging to define</a>. A <a href="https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/full/10.1177/02692163221074540#bibr13-02692163221074540">systematic review</a> of research studies on anticipatory grief identified over 30 different descriptions of pre-death grief. This lack of consensus has limited research progress, because there’s no shared understanding of how to identify anticipatory grief. Therese Rando, a <a href="https://www.taylorfrancis.com/chapters/edit/10.4324/9781315800806-9/grief-mourning-accommodating-loss-therese-rando">prominent theorist</a>, has proposed that anticipatory grief can help prepare for death, contributing to a more positive grieving experience post-bereavement. Rando also suggests that pre-death mourning can aid with adjustment to the loss of a loved one and reduce the risk of <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/understanding-grief/effects-of-grief/complicated-grief/">“complicated grief”</a>, a term that describes persistent and debilitating emotional distress. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/AapGn60DZSA?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> But pre-death mourning doesn’t necessarily mean grief will be easier to work through once a loved one has died. Other <a href="https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0277953621005724?casa_token=I9mbdSv3d3gAAAAA:MqxN5X_iWbcqa6BYj7IXmImUviheOQWAVA4UBy6795UDuS1uOHG9b245qMkyOiLcvjv_SU6yVA">research evidence</a> shows that it’s possible to experience severe anticipatory grief yet remain unprepared for death. <h2>Carers should seek support</h2> Carers of people with life-limiting illnesses may notice distressing changes in the health of their loved ones. Witnessing close-up someone’s deterioration and decline in independence, memory or ability to perform routine daily tasks, such as personal care, is a painful experience. It is essential, then, for carers to acknowledge difficult emotions and seek support from those around them – especially because caring for a loved one at the end of their life <a href="https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/helping-someone-else/carers-friends-family-coping-support/your-mental-health/">can be an isolating time</a>. Where possible, it can also be beneficial for carers to offer their loved one <a href="https://compassionatecommunitiesni.com/our-programs/dying-to-talk/">opportunities to reflect</a> on significant life events, attend to unfinished business, and to discuss preferences for funeral arrangements. For some, this may involve supporting loved ones to reconnect with friends and family, helping them to put legal or financial affairs in order, talking about how the illness is affecting them, or making an <a href="https://www.england.nhs.uk/publication/universal-principles-for-advance-care-planning/">advance care plan</a>. <figure><iframe src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/wrJaTXW1Xvk?wmode=transparent&start=0" width="440" height="260" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></figure> <h2>Talking is key</h2> Living with altered family dynamics, multiple losses, transition and uncertainty can be <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/07481187.2021.1998935">distressing for all family members</a>. It may be difficult to manage the emotional strain of knowing death is unavoidable, to make sense of the situation, and to <a href="https://hospicefoundation.ie/i-need-help/i-am-seriously-ill/how-to-talk-to-those-you-care-about/">talk about dying</a>. However, talking is key in <a href="https://www.cruse.org.uk/about/blog/important-conversations-death/">preparing for an impending death</a>. Organisations who offer specialist palliative care have information and trained professionals to help with difficult conversations, including <a href="https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/diagnosed/talking-children/children">talking to children</a> about death and dying. Navigating anticipatory grief can involve self-compassion for both the patient and carer. This includes acknowledging difficult emotions and treating oneself with kindness. Open communication with the person nearing the end of their life can foster emotional connection and help address their concerns, alongside support from the wider circle of family and friends. Extending empathy and understanding to those nearing death – and those grieving their impending loss – will help contribute to a compassionate community that supports those experiencing death, dying and bereavement.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/221629/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/lisa-graham-wisener-1247893">Lisa Graham-Wisener</a>, Lecturer of Health Psychology, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/audrey-roulston-1512057">Audrey Roulston</a>, Professor of Social Work in Palliative Care, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/queens-university-belfast-687">Queen's University Belfast</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/not-all-mourning-happens-after-bereavement-for-some-grief-can-start-years-before-the-death-of-a-loved-one-221629">original article</a>.

Caring

Major festival event cancelled after deadly find

Mardi Gras Fair Day has been cancelled four days out from the event after asbestos was discovered in Victoria Park, Sydney CBD. The organisers of the event, were informed of the site's contamination on Monday, with EPA officers finding positive results for bonded asbestos after undertaking tests earlier this week. Mardi Gras chef executive Gil Beckwith said that they are heartbroken after the decision was made, but the community's wellbeing is more important. “Fair Day is one of our most loved events, and is attended by over 70,000 people each year,” Beckwith said. “It breaks our heart to see this Sunday not go ahead, but given the safety concerns, we must put our communities’ wellbeing first. “The rest of our festival continues unchanged, offering many chances over the 17 days for our communities to come together in celebration and solidarity.” Other highlights including the Mardi Gras Parade and Bondi Beach Party will still go ahead as planned. This comes after the EPA confirmed that there is a widespread asbestos contamination with 22 sites across Sydney being affected, prompting the closure of parks, building sites, schools and train stations. Asbestos is a fibrous substance that can be trapped in the lungs if it's breathed in, and can lead to an increased risk in developing lung, ovary and throat cancer, according to the cancer council. Lord Mayor of Sydney Clover Moore said that it was an “incredibly disappointing” decision. “The NSW government and the EPA must make sure this never happens again,” she said. Asbestos has been found in two other city parks including Belmore Park in Haymarket and Harmony Park in Surry Hills. The Sydenham to Bankstown Rail Corridor sites including Campsie, Hurlstone Park, Dulwich Hill, Belmore, Wiley Park, Punchbowl and Marrickville have also been affected, with licensed removalists working hard to clear the sites. Over the coming week 32 more parks will be closed off, as they conduct more tests for contamination. “We urge everyone to avoid the mulched garden beds and mulched areas under trees at these parks while the inspections are being carried out,” a City of Sydney spokesperson said. Images: Getty

Travel Trouble

Aussie love story from WWII immortalised in the war memorial

An Australian couple's love story that defied the odds of time and distance has been immortalised in the war memorial. The Australian War Memorial is calling for volunteers to help transcribe thousands of love letters sent from soldiers in the war, to their loved ones back at home. Launching on Valentine's Day, the project will see the digital release of hundreds of thousands of personal letters, diaries and other handwritten documents kept safe for decades. Among those stories is the tale of Mac and Dot, two lovebirds separated by World War II. Their love story began in 1939, when Mac was 17 and Dorothy was 14. Dorothy - or as Mac referred to her, his Darling Dot - was forbidden to go on a date with Mac after her father refused to give his blessing. "He kept on asking me to go out but my father wouldn't let me," Dorothy laughed as she told Ally Langdon on A Current Affair. <blockquote class="instagram-media" style="background: #FFF; border: 0; border-radius: 3px; box-shadow: 0 0 1px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.5),0 1px 10px 0 rgba(0,0,0,0.15); margin: 1px; max-width: 540px; min-width: 326px; padding: 0; width: calc(100% - 2px);" data-instgrm-permalink="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" data-instgrm-version="14"> <div style="padding: 16px;"> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; align-items: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 40px; margin-right: 14px; width: 40px;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 100px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 60px;"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="padding: 19% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: block; height: 50px; margin: 0 auto 12px; width: 50px;"> </div> <div style="padding-top: 8px;"> <div style="color: #3897f0; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: 550; line-height: 18px;">View this post on Instagram</div> </div> <div style="padding: 12.5% 0;"> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: row; margin-bottom: 14px; align-items: center;"> <div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(0px) translateY(7px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; height: 12.5px; transform: rotate(-45deg) translateX(3px) translateY(1px); width: 12.5px; flex-grow: 0; margin-right: 14px; margin-left: 2px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; height: 12.5px; width: 12.5px; transform: translateX(9px) translateY(-18px);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: 8px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 50%; flex-grow: 0; height: 20px; width: 20px;"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 2px solid transparent; border-left: 6px solid #f4f4f4; border-bottom: 2px solid transparent; transform: translateX(16px) translateY(-4px) rotate(30deg);"> </div> </div> <div style="margin-left: auto;"> <div style="width: 0px; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-right: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(16px);"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; flex-grow: 0; height: 12px; width: 16px; transform: translateY(-4px);"> </div> <div style="width: 0; height: 0; border-top: 8px solid #F4F4F4; border-left: 8px solid transparent; transform: translateY(-4px) translateX(8px);"> </div> </div> </div> <div style="display: flex; flex-direction: column; flex-grow: 1; justify-content: center; margin-bottom: 24px;"> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; margin-bottom: 6px; width: 224px;"> </div> <div style="background-color: #f4f4f4; border-radius: 4px; flex-grow: 0; height: 14px; width: 144px;"> </div> </div> <p style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 17px; margin-bottom: 0; margin-top: 8px; overflow: hidden; padding: 8px 0 7px; text-align: center; text-overflow: ellipsis; white-space: nowrap;"><a style="color: #c9c8cd; font-family: Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-weight: normal; line-height: 17px; text-decoration: none;" href="https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Rj4g9vjIS/?utm_source=ig_embed&utm_campaign=loading" target="_blank" rel="noopener">A post shared by A Current Affair (@acurrentaffair9)</a> </div> </blockquote> Mac was soon off to war, but his plan was always to return home to Dot. "He said to me, 'When I come back home...Will you come out with me then?'" Dorothy reminisced. "I said, 'Of course I will, Mac!' And then he gave me a kiss and went to war." The young couple then continued to write each other letters every week for five long years, until Mac was captured by the German army and held as a prisoner of war. Despite his capture, Mac held onto every letter Dot had ever written him, as he remained determined to get home to his beloved. "I hated him being away, and when the letters came back oh gee they were wonderful," Dorothy said. "A letter meant he was still alive, you see, so it was so exciting." In April 1945, Dot received the best letter of all: Mac had escaped and was coming home. "Hello my darling. What does one say in a moment such as this?" Dot wrote on April 30th 1945. "I have butterflies in my stomach, love in my heart and few words that make sense in my mind. Well Mac, it's really coming at last. You're almost home". And Mac wrote back to that, "Hello darling. I miss you more now than ever." "Unfortunately I can't find a boat to take me back to you. If they don't hurry I guess I'll just have to pinch a rowing boat and see what I can do!" When Mac returned home, he brought with him half a decade's worth of those love letters from Dot, as well as a portrait of himself painted by another prisoner of war. It hangs proudly at the end of Dorothy's bed and is the first thing she sees when she wakes. Now Robyn Van Dyke and Terrie-Anne Simmonds from the Australian War Memorial are sifting through thousands of donated love letters, including Mac's and Dorothy's. "He not only managed to escape, but he managed to take all her letters with him and that blows me away because it's not a small amount of letters," Robyn said. The team is looking for <a href="https://transcribe.awm.gov.au" target="_blank" rel="noopener">volunteers</a> to help ensure those stories, and all that love, live forever. Dorothy, who is now 101 years old, had more than 70 wonderful years with Mac before he died in 2014. "He was nearly 90, you know. And me I just kept on going and going and going!" she said. "He'd be up there watching every minute I bet. We had such fun. Oh dear we did have fun. We laughed a lot and we cried a lot." "But we lived - and that was the main thing." Image credits: A Current Affair <p style="box-sizing: border-box; margin: 24px 0px 0px; padding: 0px; border: 0px; font-stretch: inherit; font-size: 18px; line-height: 1.333; font-family: 'Proxima Nova', 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size-adjust: inherit; font-kerning: inherit; font-variant-alternates: inherit; font-variant-ligatures: inherit; font-variant-numeric: inherit; font-variant-east-asian: inherit; font-variant-position: inherit; font-feature-settings: inherit; font-optical-sizing: inherit; font-variation-settings: inherit; vertical-align: baseline; caret-color: #333333; color: #333333; letter-spacing: 0.25px;">

Relationships

‘Self-love’ might seem selfish. But done right, it’s the opposite of narcissism

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> “To love what you are, the thing that is yourself, is just as if you were embracing a glowing red-hot iron” <a href="https://archive.org/details/jungsseminaronni0000jung">said psychonalyst Carl Jung</a>. Some may argue this social media generation does not seem to struggle with loving themselves. But is the look-at-me-ism so easily found on TikTok and Instagram the kind of self-love we need in order to flourish? The language of <a href="https://theconversation.com/teaching-positive-psychology-skills-at-school-may-be-one-way-to-help-student-mental-health-and-happiness-217173">positive psychology</a> can be – and often is – appropriated for all kinds of self-importance, as well as cynical marketing strategies. Loving yourself, though, psychological experts stress, is not the same as behaving selfishly. There’s a firm line between healthy and appropriate forms of loving yourself, and malignant or <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-types-of-narcissist-are-there-a-psychology-expert-sets-the-record-straight-207610">narcissistic</a> forms. But how do we distinguish between them? In 2023, researchers Eva Henschke and Peter Sedlmeier conducted <a href="https://www.researchgate.net/publication/355152846_What_is_self-love_Redefinition_of_a_controversial_construct">a series of interviews</a> with psychotherapists and other experts on what self-love is. They’ve concluded it has three main features: self-care, self-acceptance and self-contact (devoting attention to yourself). But as an increasingly individualistic society, are we already devoting too much attention to ourselves? <h2>Philosophy and self-love</h2> Philosophers and psychology experts alike have considered the ethics of self-love. Psychology researcher Li Ming Xue and her colleagues, <a href="https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2021.585719/full">exploring the notion of self-love in Chinese culture</a>, claim “Western philosophers believe that self-love is a virtue”. But this is a very broad generalisation. In the Christian tradition and in much European philosophy, <a href="https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/10848770.2020.1839209">says philosopher Razvan Ioan</a>, self-love is condemned as a profoundly damaging trait. On the other hand, <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/2107991">many of the great Christian philosophers</a>, attempting to make sense of the instruction to love one’s neighbour as oneself, admitted certain forms of self-love were virtuous. In order to love your neighbour as yourself, you must, it would seem, love yourself. In the Western philosophical context, claim Xue and her colleagues, self-love is concerned with individual rights – “society as a whole only serves to promote an individual’s happiness”. This individualistic, self-concerned notion of self-love, they suggest, might come from the Ancient Greek philosophers. In particular, Aristotle. But <a href="https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/philosophy-stirred-not-shaken/201502/love-yourself-love-your-character">Aristotle thought only the most virtuous</a>, who benefited the society around them, should love themselves. By making this connection, he avoided equating self-love with self-centredness. We should love ourselves not out of vanity, he argued, but in virtue of our capacity for good. Does Aristotle, then, provide principled grounds for distinguishing between proper and improper forms of self-love? <h2>Bar too high?</h2> Aristotle might set the bar too high. If only the most virtuous should try to love themselves, this collides head-on with the idea loving yourself can help us improve and become more virtuous – as <a href="https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1057/9781137383310_6">philosophers Kate Abramson and Adam Leite have argued</a>. Many psychologists claim self-love is important for adopting the kind and compassionate self-perception crucial for overcoming conditions that weaponise self-criticism, like <a href="https://theconversation.com/clinical-perfectionism-when-striving-for-excellence-gets-you-down-43704">clinical perfectionism</a> and <a href="https://theconversation.com/how-many-people-have-eating-disorders-we-dont-really-know-and-thats-a-worry-121938">eating disorders</a>. More broadly, some argue compassion for oneself is necessary to support honest insights into your own behaviour. They believe we need warm and compassionate self-reflection to avoid the defensiveness that comes with the fear of judgement – even if we’re standing as our own judge. For this reason, a compassionate form of self-love is often necessary to follow Socrates’ advice to “know thyself”, says <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">philosopher Jan Bransen</a>. Positive self-love, by these lights, can help us grow as people. <h2>Self-love ‘misguided and silly’</h2> But not everyone agrees you need self-love to grow. The late philosopher <a href="https://www.theguardian.com/news/2005/nov/29/guardianobituaries.obituaries">Oswald Hanfling</a> was deeply sceptical of this idea. In fact, he argued the notion of loving oneself was misguided and silly. His ideas are mostly rejected by philosophers of love, but pointing out where they go wrong can be useful. When you love someone, he said, you’re prepared to sacrifice your own interests for those of your beloved. But he thought the idea of sacrificing your own interests made no sense – which shows, he concluded, we can’t love ourselves. <a href="https://www.jstor.org/stable/3751159">He wrote</a>: "I may sacrifice an immediate satisfaction for the sake of my welfare in the future, as in the case of giving up smoking. In this case, however, my motive is not love but self-interest. What I reveal in giving up smoking is not the extent of my love for myself, but an understanding that the long-term benefits of giving it up are likely to exceed the present satisfaction of going on with it." We often have conflicting interests (think of someone who is agonising over two different career paths) – and it’s not at all strange to sacrifice certain interests for the sake of others. This is not just a question of sacrificing short-term desires in favour of a long-term good, but a matter of sacrificing something of value for your ultimate benefit (or, so you hope). <h2>Self-compassion</h2> Hanfling fails to consider the role of compassionate self-love. While we might understand it’s in our interests to do something (for instance, repair bridges with someone we’ve fallen out with), it might take a compassionate and open disposition towards ourselves to recognise what’s in our best interests. We might need this self-compassion, too, in order to admit our failures – so we can overcome our defensiveness and see clearly how we’re failing to fulfil <a href="https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10677-015-9578-4">these interests</a>. Self-acceptance in this context does not mean giving ourselves licence to run roughshod over the interests of those around us, nor to justify our flaws as “valid” rather than work on them. Self-love, as promoted by contemporary psychologists, means standing in a compassionate relationship to ourselves. And there’s nothing contradictory about this idea. Just as we strive to develop a supportive, kind relationship to the people we care about – and just as this doesn’t involve uncritical approval of everything they do – compassionate self-love doesn’t mean abandoning valid self-criticism. In fact, self-compassion has the opposite effect. It promotes comfort with the kind of critical self-assessment that helps us grow – which leads to resilience. It breeds the opposite of narcissistic self-absorption.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/205938/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/ian-robertson-1372650">Ian Robertson</a>, PhD Candidate (Teaching roles at Macquarie & Wollongong), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-wollongong-711">University of Wollongong</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/self-love-might-seem-selfish-but-done-right-its-the-opposite-of-narcissism-205938">original article</a>.

Mind

Supermarket worker finds 2000 Olympics relic between the shelves

A worker at an Aussie supermarket has discovered a relic of Australian culture that is over two decades old. While moving some old shelves in the grocery store as they prepared for renovations, the supermarket worker was shocked to discover a long-expired chocolate bar that was released for the 2000 Sydney Olympics. Posting about the discovery on a Facebook page called Old Shops Australia, a man posted about his wife’s unusual find. “My wife works in a supermarket and they were moving the shelving around and this was stuck between two shelves. Still wrapped up with chocolate inside,” the man said. The 'Sydney 2000 Games Story Block' had the three characters, Syd the platypus, Millie the echidna and Olly the Kookaburra on the front. It also had one of six collectable Olympic Games story book inside the wrapper, with the chocolate expiring on July 30th 2001. Images of the almost-forgotten treat have been circulating online triggering old memories in thousands of Aussies. One person noted the wrapper was made out of paper and foil rather than the plastic used today. Others pointed out the generous size of the chocolate block which is 250g compared to the 180g bars available now. “Oh wow!! This brings back memories!! A near 24 year old block of chocolate!! Would anyone be up for tasting it?! Wonder how much it's worth?! How long since the supermarket had a good clean and update?! So many questions!” one woman asked. “Partly want this to go to a museum, partly just wanna see it unwrapped,” a second wrote. “Oof, right in the nostalgia,” a third said and another chimed in, “Mouldy as hell. I wonder what the story book looks like.” Image credits: Facebook

Food & Wine

Finding joy at age 100: Talking to centenarians about living their best life at any age

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Aging is seen as a period of loss, and there are unhelpful <a href="https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/10-myths-about-aging">myths about older adults</a>. Myths lead to treatable conditions being considered normal parts of aging, including cognitive decline, dementia, depression and loneliness. Some even consider exercise dangerous in older adults. At the same time, mainstream media promotes the message that <a href="https://doi.org/10.4236/jss.2017.58015">being young is central to a person’s value</a>. These ideas lead to ageism and older adults being seen as lesser. After spending time with six female centenarians in assisted living facilities, our research team — which included four nursing researchers and a documentary filmmaker — learned there is plenty still worth living for. Centenarians are a small but growing segment of the population with <a href="https://www150.statcan.gc.ca/n1/en/daily-quotidien/220928/dq220928c-eng.pdf?st=LrkfjZE_">13,844 centenarians in Canada</a>, and our findings debunk myths about the experience of aging. We asked the centenarians questions about what brings them joy and how they plan for the future because we wanted to learn how the very elderly plan for and find ways to live their best lives. The results of this study were <a href="https://vimeo.com/showcase/looking-forward-at-100">turned into a 32-minute documentary</a> that captures participants’ long and interesting lives and offers insight into continued meaning experienced by centenarians in their daily lives. Three of the centenarians died shortly after the interviews took place. <h2>Long and interesting lives</h2> The participants were born between the years 1919 and 1922. They were children during the Great Depression and young adults during the Second World War. One of the women helped build bullet casings and worked on the <a href="https://www.britannica.com/technology/Lancaster-airplane">Lancaster bomber</a>. Another woman helped her husband protect the blueprints of the ill-fated <a href="https://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.ca/en/article/avro-arrow">Avro Arrow aircraft</a> when he brought them home from work. Two women lost their husbands when their children were small and had to go to work to support their families. They all experienced love and adventure. Our team was fascinated by their stories and wanted to further explore what their lives look like today. Betty, 101, saw happiness as a choice. “I don’t know what’s really to complain about. I went through life staying happy,” she said. <h2>Joy and challenges</h2> This study used a research method called <a href="https://www.scribd.com/doc/151684840/Braun-Clarke-2006-Using-Thematic-Analysis">thematic analysis</a> to find four themes: Finding Joy, Act your Age, Looking Forward and Putting Challenges into Perspective. The centenarians found joy each day and enjoyed the little things such as activities, visits and treats. Betty enjoyed cheating at solitaire and Jean, 100, played the piano. Clementina, 101, had fun gambling and Joyce, 100, continued to write stories and watch her grandchildren in music concerts. Family was central to their lives and they enjoyed spending time with their children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren. Two of the women stated that raising their children was the biggest accomplishment in their lives. The centenarians also found great joy in reminiscing about their interesting lives. However, one of the challenges was that there was no one left alive who had the same shared experiences. <h2>Limitations</h2> The centenarians were constrained by the limitations of society, their bodies and their self-perceptions. “You have to act your age,” said Clementina. She physically described this phenomenon by clasping her hands together in her lap and sitting still. Some participants found life to be boring at 100 compared to their lives as younger adults. They had limited opportunities to do what they would like. “We had homes,” said Joyce, 100, describing how they had known better lives, which made it hard to accept the constraints of their current existence. In spite of these feelings, many of the participants continued to be busy and live life fully despite limitations. Jean, despite needing a wheelchair for mobility, continues to do people’s taxes for a volunteer organization, plays piano for church services and leads choirs within her facility. “I am constantly rebelling against my situation physically,” she said. The other women in this study also continued to challenge norms of what their age and disabilities meant. Joyce writes and submits short stories for publication, and has a poem in the war archives in Ottawa. Assisted living facilities often prioritize resident safety, but this can come at a cost to personal freedom. Some residents only leave their facility accompanied by a facility employee or a family member. Clementina rebelled against this restriction and at the age of 97, snuck out of her assisted living facility in a cab to go to the casino, pretending that she was going to meet her son. All of the participants put their life challenges into perspective. They all had lost spouses, friends and some had lost their children. “I was broken,” Clementina said about losing her husband. Christine, 102, was asked how she managed after losing her husband when her children were still small. “I am still here,” she said. <h2>The future</h2> Most of the centenarians had few plans for themselves for the future and were more interested in leading their day-to-day lives. Betty jokingly described the inevitability of her death and that she was “looking for the bucket.” Most described being prepared to die except for Jean, who laughed and said she didn’t have time to die. “I have too many plans.” The centenarians looked to the future of their families and the larger community and entrusted the next generation to make good choices. Participants in this study had long and interesting lives and continued to find meaning each day. This study supports the idea that older adults continue to lead engaging lives and that we need to support older adults to live their best lives at any age. This article was also co-authored by journalist and filmmaker Kelly-Anne Riess and retired nursing instructor Susan Page.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/206852/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/heather-joyce-nelson-1440914">Heather Joyce Nelson</a>, Assistant Professor of Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/university-of-regina-3498">University of Regina</a>; <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/beverlee-ziefflie-1445320">Beverlee Ziefflie</a>, Instructor, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a>, and <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/paula-mayer-1445321">Paula Mayer</a>, Associate Research Scientist, Nursing, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/saskatchewan-polytechnic-5681">Saskatchewan Polytechnic</a> Image credits: Shutterstock This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/finding-joy-at-age-100-talking-to-centenarians-about-living-their-best-life-at-any-age-206852">original article</a>.

Caring

Chris Brown's candid love life admission

Dr Chris Brown, who has stolen the hearts of many Aussies with his good looks, charm and love for animals has opened up about his love life. In a candid interview with Stellar, the TV personality revealed that he will keep his relationships private until he knows it's strong enough to withstand speculation and online commentary. “The challenge, really, is that it's hard enough to meet the right person, anyway,” he told the publication. He also opened up on what it's like to date in the public eye. “That extra layer of speculation and interest… once you're actually in a relationship it's easy, but it's meeting that person at the start that's really hard. You could potentially be on your first date and you get photographed. “And then there’s a search for who this person is, what her backstory is, and then all of a sudden, it becomes something that it may not be that stage.” The former I’m A Celebrity… Get Me Out Of Here! host added that it's easy to get into a “cycle”, which is “so bizarre it’s almost amusing”. In a previous interview with <a href="https://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/lifestyle/stellar/dr-chris-brown-im-certainly-looking-for-the-one/news-story/1bade13d3b6cd4d8fa89ca2549ab573f" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Stellar</a>, he also said that he was "certainly looking for the one" and that his younger self would be "horrified" if he knew that he is still unmarried and without kids. “But it's my doing. I’ve probably prioritised work more than I potentially should have over the past 10 years – to the detriment of my personal life,” he added. The beloved TV vet also said that he is looking for a serious relationship: "I don’t want to be this person with a history of short to medium-term relationships.” While Chris is known for keeping his love life private, he has had a few relationships in the past. In 2014 he was romantically linked to Bondi-based project manager Hannah Thomas and Home and Away actress Kassandra Clementi. In late 2016, he dated TV producer Kendall Bora, who he was with for two years. Bora has since tied the knot with Weekend Sunrise host Matt Doran. In 2018 he reportedly dated Liv Phyland for a year, before eventually calling it quits although they remain "really good friends" according to Women's Day. He was most recently linked to luxury magazine founder, Brooke Meredith, although they rarely made a public appearance together and reportedly split in late 2022. Images: Instagram

Relationships

Couple who found love in chemotherapy raise funds for final trip

Ainslie Plumb, 22, and Joe Fan, 29, found love in an unexpected place, at the Royal Brisbane and Women’s Hospital. The couple met in 2022 while they were both undergoing leukaemia treatment. “We met at an event for young people with cancer and became friends following that,” Plumb told 7News. “(We) would hang out during our hospital stays, I asked him out in October 2022 and (we) have been together ever since.” While Plumb successfully entered remission, last October, Fan was told that he was now terminal, as doctors had run out of options to treat his Philadelphia chromosome positive acute lymphoblastic leukaemia. With only months left to live, Fan, who has actively given back to the hospital and cancer community by playing his violin for patients and staff and worked with the Queensland Youth Cancer Service, has one final wish - to travel. The couple have set a <a href="https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-joe-live-his-dreams" target="_blank" rel="noopener">GoFundMe</a>, to help raise funds which cover flights, accommodation and specialised travel insurance, for Fan's final trip. “I go through my cancer treatments and observe the toll that takes on my physical and mental wellbeing,” Fan said. “The end of a trip can hopefully mark the start of another — and I have held onto hope, looked forward and dreamed for one more trip, more time, one more experience with that someone I love.” Their first destination will be Taiwan and Hong Kong, where Fan's parents are from and where he spent a majority of his childhood. They also intend to travel to New Zealand and Western Australia to swim with whale sharks at Ningaloo in the state’s north. “We’re aiming at going at the end of February to give us time to co-ordinate with his doctors around his appointments and infusions, which are all booked in advance,” Plumb said. “We recently reached 75 per cent on the fundraiser and are hoping to hit 100 per cent perhaps by the end of January.” As of today, the couple have successfully raised over $21,000 from their $20,000 goal, and have thanked everyone in their community and strangers for their support. “Truly, words do not suffice,” the couple said. Images: 7News

Relationships

10 dumb hiding spots burglars always find

Under the mattress Burglars will make a beeline to the room with the most valuables. “The good stop is always going to be in the master bedroom,” says Chris McGoey, CPP, CSP, CAM, president of <a href="http://www.crimedoctor.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">McGoey Security Consulting.</a> “That’s where you have your clothes, your jewellery, your extra cash, your prescriptions – anything of value.” Hiding things under the mattress is one of the oldest tricks in the book, so a thief will likely check there for hidden treasures, he says. Bedroom closet A thief might rummage through your entire closet – pockets and all – looking for cash or other valuables. If you do decide to store valuables in your closet, leave them in a box purposely mislabelled with a boring name (think: “uni textbooks 1980” or “baby clothes”) to keep sticky fingers out, suggests McGoey. Dresser drawers While burglars are in your bedroom, a jewellery box on top of the dresser is a hot commodity. Even if you don’t store your jewellery in plain sight, a thief will probably hunt around in dresser drawers for a shoebox or other unique box that could be filled with watches, jewels, and other valuables, says Robert Siciliano, CSP, security analyst with <a href="https://www.hotspotshield.com/" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Hotspot Shield</a>. Instead of putting your high-value belongings in an obvious box, ball them up in a sock, he suggests. Pick a pair with a bright pattern that will stand out to you but won’t look fishy to a crook. Portable safe You probably want to keep your precious items locked away, but it won’t do much good if the safe isn’t attached to the floor or a wall. “If it’s closed and locked, it implies there are things of value in there,” says McGoey. “If it’s small and portable, they’ll take the whole thing.” On the other hand, burglars are generally trying to get in and out as quickly as possible. They won’t bother using a stethoscope to crack the combination, so a heavy safe they can’t lift is your best bet, he says. Medicine cabinet Robbers want to make quick cash off your belongings, so they’ll be sure to browse your medicine cabinet for prescription pills they can sell. The pills might not be a concern because you can get a refill easily, but be careful what you store nearby. “You want to avoid putting anything of significant value around medication of any kind,” says Siciliano. For instance, using an old pill container as a hiding spot for jewels could actually make them a target. Freezer If you’ve thought of the freezer as a sneaky hiding spot, chances are a robber has, too. A burglar won’t rummage through your entire stack of frozen peas and fish sticks, but if you leave your treasures in something out-of-place, such as a sock, the thief will be onto you. “If you’re going to put something in the freezer, you want to put it in with something that looks legit, like wrapping it in a bag that used to have blueberries in it,” says Siciliano. Use the same rule of thumb if hiding anything in a pantry. Just give a loved one a heads up so that if anything happens, your valuables won’t be trashed with the rest of your food. Office drawers Think twice before stashing important papers like birth certificates or passports in your office drawers. “People want to be convenient. They have a file labelled,” says McGoey. Unfortunately, that also means you’re leading burglars straight to everything they need to steal your identity. Use a locked drawer to keep sensitive data safe, recommends Siciliano. Vase An empty vase could act as a hiding place for valuables, but swindlers are onto your tricks. They’ll likely tip the vase over or even break it, hoping to find goods inside. “Have something additional in it, like flowers, that would obscure somebody looking in it,” he says. They’ll also be less likely to empty your vase if it means dropping flowers all over the floor. Liquor cabinet A liquor cabinet might not seem like an obvious spot for thieves to hunt for valuables, but that doesn’t mean they’re safe. “It’s a target for kids looking for [alcohol],” says Siciliano. You might not be devastated if your whiskey goes missing, but you don’t want to lose an heirloom along with it. Suitcase Your luggage might seem like a waste of valuable storage space when you’re not travelling, but don’t keep anything irreplaceable inside. “Suitcases are common things people use as a safe even though it’s not a safe,” says McGoey. Criminals will open a suitcase up if they find one in your closet, he says. Image credits: Getty Images This article originally appeared on <a href="https://www.readersdigest.com.au/home-tips/10-hiding-spots-burglars-always-look-first" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Reader's Digest</a>.

Home & Garden

“I couldn’t believe it": Man's incredible find in client's trash

A rubbish removalist’s tendency to upcycle and recycle his clients' trash has led him to a rare discovery. Jesse Stewart, from Brisbane's Get It Gone Rubbish Removal, recalled the moment he was getting rid of an entertainment unit at the tip, when he found a mistakenly discarded medicine bottle with a wad of cash inside. “I didn’t think too much of it but when I picked it up it was heavy, and I was like, ‘I wonder what’s in there’,“ he told 7News. Stewart “couldn’t believe” his luck when he found out the wad of notes amounted to $7000. “I’ve never found anything like that before," he said. But being the good samaritan that he was, Stewart returned the money to its rightful owner, a woman in her 60s and his long-time client. “She was so grateful. She couldn’t believe it,” he said, adding that she did not even realise she had the cash stashed away. “She didn’t think anyone would be that nice to give it back, so she gave me a few hundred bucks, which was nice," he said, revealing that she gave him a $300 unsolicited reward. While he did return the money back to its rightful owner, Stewart shared that he did think about keeping it. “To be honest, my first thought was to keep it,” he laughed. “The person who owned it has treated me really well over the last year of working for her ... I just felt too guilty, I could not keep it.” This is not the Brisbane local's first interesting find, as his tendency to upcycle trash has led to a trove of treasures including a haul of rare Australian stamps, an electric scooter and an antique piano. But, the cash definitely “took the cake”. “I don’t think I’ll find something like that again,” he said. Images: Facebook

Money & Banking

Readers Respond: What's a book you love that most people have never heard of?

Looking for a new book to kickstart your year? Look no further we've got you covered. Here are a few of our reader's book recommendations that you may not have heard of. Ruth Fontaine - I’m reading We of the Never Never atm. Not sure if it’s still well known. I’ve read it before but awhile back and love it. I love reading how they lived nearly 120 years ago. Elaine Rosenberg - The Abbey Girls Series by Elsie J Oxenham. Maryika Welter - The courage to be disliked. ... Furmitake Kogan, Ichiro Kishimi. Janice Stewart - A Fortunate Life by Albert Facey Suzanne Midson - On Our Selection by Steele Rudd. Read it when I was about 10/12. Best laugh ever. Australian humour at its best. Julie Anderson - Episode of Sparrows by Rumor Goddin Nancie Golsby - The Half Burned Tree by Dympna Cusack June Maynard - Sahara, by Paula Constant. Preceded by Slow Journey South. A thrilling, actual account of her adventure. Peter Rayner - Enforcer by Caesar Campbell Meg Milton - I Heard the Owl Call My Name by Margaret Craven Edie Dore - The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time by Mark Haddon. Christine Cornforth - A Grief Observed by CS Lewis. Wendy Oliver - The Good Earth by Pearl Buck Do you have any other recommendations that we might have missed? Image: Getty

Books

4 tips to help your loved one with dementia enjoy the festive season

<a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> The festive season is fast approaching, and if you’re organising celebrations with family or friends, you might be grappling with a seemingly endless to-do list. But as you make these plans, it’s important to consider how you can best include any friends or loved ones living with dementia. While no two people experience dementia in the exact same way, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia">dementia</a> often affects the way people process and respond to their environment. Too much stimulation – like a lot of noise and activity at a Christmas party – can be overwhelming and may cause confusion or agitation. Finding ways to create a <a href="https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/creating-a-calming-home-for-people-with-dementia#:%7E:text=The%20physical%20environment%20is%20important,in%20and%20enjoy%20everyday%20activities.">safe environment</a> at home for your loved one with dementia will help maximise the chances everyone has a good time. <h2>1. Plan ahead, but be flexible</h2> Planning celebrations can be overwhelming for everyone involved, and having excessive expectations can raise stress levels. Try to keep <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend">expectations realistic</a> and in line with the current needs of your friend or loved one living with dementia. For example, people with dementia may experience <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/information/about-you/i-am-a-carer-family-member-or-friend/personal-care/eating">changes in their appetite</a> or food preferences, or difficulties chewing and swallowing. These changes might make some of the things on your festive menu unappetising or difficult to eat. Be guided by the needs and preferences of the person with dementia and keep options limited to one or two special foods if larger banquets are likely to be overwhelming. Things can change quickly for people living with dementia and their abilities will likely <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/about-dementia/what-is-dementia/progression-of-dementia#:%7E:text=A%20person%20with%20dementia's%20abilities,over%20a%20number%20of%20years.">vary from day to day</a>. Try to be flexible and have a backup plan in place. For special events, plan to record speeches or ceremonies to share when things are quieter. If you’re planning a large event, consider having a smaller gathering with your loved one with dementia and just a few special people. <h2>2. Stick to the familiar</h2> The sudden appearance of lots of decorations <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/helpsheets/Helpsheet-TipsToAssistSocialEngagement03-TipsForHolidayCheer_english.pdf">may be overwhelming</a> for a person with dementia and trigger a negative sensory reaction or distress. Ensure decorations are safe and familiar and put them up slowly over a period of a few days. Try to also stick to familiar traditions and routines. <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/daily-care/daily-care-plan">Daily routines</a> are an important way of supporting people with dementia and sudden changes <a href="https://memory.ucsf.edu/caregiving-support/behavior-personality-changes#I-Investigate-Possible-Causes">may result in agitation and distress</a>. Stick to routine eating, bathing, and rest times where possible throughout the holiday period. For many people with dementia, long-term memories are less affected than <a href="https://www.alzheimers.org.uk/about-dementia/symptoms-and-diagnosis/symptoms/memory-loss">more recent memories</a>. Familiar family traditions can therefore be a good way to <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/national/support-and-services/carers/therapies-and-communication-approaches">reminisce</a>. Family keepsakes or <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/sites/default/files/20110303-NSW-LifeHistoryBook.pdf">memory books</a> can also help connect with stories from past celebrations. <h2>3. Have a quiet space</h2> Try to have <a href="https://www.scie.org.uk/dementia/supporting-people-with-dementia/dementia-friendly-environments/noise.asp">a quiet place</a> where the person living with dementia can go if things become overwhelming. Designating a support person who can stay with them throughout the day and take them to a separate room or area away from the action can help to keep things calm. Having some familiar objects or <a href="https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5432607/#:%7E:text=Passive%20music%20listening%20is%20reported,et%20al.%2C%202013">quiet music</a> in the space can be a good way to block out the noise of activities and reduce agitation. <h2>4. Make sure everyone has a part</h2> Everyone wants to feel a part of the activities on a special day, including people living with dementia. Ensuring everyone has a role to play may mean modifying tasks to suit the abilities of the person with dementia. For example, if you’re hosting an event at home, try to get your friend or relative with dementia involved in the kitchen by tossing the salad or helping to set the table. People with dementia are still the same person, even if their abilities have changed or they can no longer communicate their needs and feelings like they used to. It’s important to treat everyone with dignity and try to include your friends and loved ones with dementia in celebrations whenever possible. <h2>Sometimes, you can’t be together</h2> Despite the best laid plans, sometimes it won’t be possible to share in festive celebrations with your loved one living with dementia. More advanced dementia, <a href="https://www.health.nsw.gov.au/Infectious/covid-19/Pages/racf-latest-advice.aspx">aged care visitor restrictions</a> or even just distance can keep many of us apart from our loved ones. Be prepared for this separation to bring up your own feelings of <a href="https://www.alz.org/help-support/caregiving/caregiver-health/grief-loss-as-alzheimers-progresses">grief or sadness</a>. Look after your mental health as well as the person with dementia. Caring responsibilities still largely <a href="https://www.pmc.gov.au/sites/default/files/resource/download/national-strategy-gender-equality-discussion-paper_0.pdf">fall to women</a> and it’s important to share the load. Where possible, the holidays can be a good time to think about giving primary carers a break to help them recharge for the year ahead. If you’re caring for someone with dementia and need support, <a href="https://www.dementia.org.au/support">Dementia Australia</a> or <a href="https://www.carergateway.gov.au/about?utm_source=google&utm_medium=paid-search&utm_campaign=10841470526&utm_adgroup=146956908840&utm_term=&gclid=CjwKCAjw9-6oBhBaEiwAHv1QvI1uJVJRppcDJtdgYNTDeObUk1tyrNUtLGBqpp3ytjb_khYkGExICBoC_5EQAvD_BwE">Carer Gateway</a> offer useful resources.<img style="border: none !important; box-shadow: none !important; margin: 0 !important; max-height: 1px !important; max-width: 1px !important; min-height: 1px !important; min-width: 1px !important; opacity: 0 !important; outline: none !important; padding: 0 !important;" src="https://counter.theconversation.com/content/214944/count.gif?distributor=republish-lightbox-basic" alt="The Conversation" width="1" height="1" /> <a href="https://theconversation.com/profiles/nikki-anne-wilson-342631">Nikki-Anne Wilson</a>, Postdoctoral Research Fellow, Neuroscience Research Australia (NeuRA), <a href="https://theconversation.com/institutions/unsw-sydney-1414">UNSW Sydney</a> Image credits: Getty Images This article is republished from <a href="https://theconversation.com">The Conversation</a> under a Creative Commons license. Read the <a href="https://theconversation.com/4-tips-to-help-your-loved-one-with-dementia-enjoy-the-festive-season-214944">original article</a>.

Caring

Woman launches true crime podcast to find her father's killer

21 years ago, Madison McGhee's father was shot in cold blood. Madison was just six years old when her dad, John "JC" Cornelius McGhee, died, and was originally told he had passed away from a heart attack. However, when Madison was in high school, she began to ask questions about what really happened that night. "When I was 16 I had a weird feeling that something else was going on, so I asked my mum about a weird connection between my cousin and the death of my father," Madison told <a href="https://9now.nine.com.au/today/ice-cold-case-podcaster-hoping-to-solve-fathers-21-year-murder-mystery/a873da03-0198-4e34-b65c-cc3ced6e8cca" target="_blank" rel="noopener">Today Extra</a>. "And that's when my mum told me that there was another side of the story and that my dad had actually been murdered and it was a cold case, completely unsolved." Madison's father, who was a recovering drug addict and police informant, was shot in the head in the early hours of July 11th 2002 at his home in Ohio. His 16-year-old daughter and Madison's half-sister, Alyssa, was home at the time and found her father's body on the ground with a bullet hole in a nearby wall. Police investigated his death, but failed to find any evidence that could convict someone of his murder. After Madison discovered the real nature of her father's death, she began digging into the cold case and decided to try and solve the crime herself. In her efforts to find her father's killer, she launched a podcast called Ice Cold Case. "I started asking questions, diving into it and that's when I realised it was much more layered than even I could have imagined," she said. One line of theory by investigators was that JC's death was a home invasion gone wrong, but Madison said things just don't add up to support that. "When you dive into the police files, it's very clear that this is suspicious," she said. "A home invasion to my knowledge is usually very quick and something of value is stolen, but nothing was taken and this home invasion lasted for over 30 minutes. "It just seemed suspicious that someone would feel so comfortable to break into a house and stick around for that long and not steal anything at all - it feels like it was planned and very intentional." Madison admitted that is has been jarring looking into the death of her father, especially when no one has been held accountable, but she has put her own fears aside in the hopes of finding out what really happened. "I do feel a little uneasy putting myself out there in this very public way, but I just feel like justice for my dad is so much more important than worrying about my own safety if his killer is still out there," she said. "But I really want to find out what happened for him and for my own closure, so I have sort of pushed that to the side." Image credits: Today Extra

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